All I Want For Christmas Is…

I’m not going to let another #mememonday pass without a post – one thought came to mind. The theme this month is – What gift do you want Microsoft to leave under the tree this year?

I don’t want much. Bill Gates is already taking care of the world, so no beauty pageant wish there. As a SQL Server professional I just want a few simple gifts – stocking stuffers really. In fact a tune comes to mind…

The defaults in SQL Server anger me
Auto Shrink and Full Recovery mode by default especially
I do know just who to blame for this catastrophe!
So my one wish on Meme Monday is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
is the auto-shrink option dead
the auto-shrink option dead
see! that fragmented database!

Gee, if I could only
have the option dead
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas”
It seems so long since I could scan
all those fragmented tables quickly
Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be
If it were only dead

All I want for Christmas
is the auto-shrink option dead
the auto-shrink option dead
see! that fragmented database!

That’s It -

I want SQL Server to make it a little tougher for well meaning, but ill-trained people to shoot themselves in their feet. I don’t want people to have to hire high priced consultants to fix problems that are caused by defaults, by maintenance plan options that allow them to fragment their database, by a simple check box to enable auto-fragment mode of their database. It isn’t that consultants are bad – it’s just that my posts on transacation log shrinking and management (and why you shouldn’t need to do it) shouldn’t be the most popular google search traffic to my blog

Reminds me of the series of posts about the top 5 things I wanted SQL Server to drop during an earlier meme. That’s what I want.

P.S. – That means if you are auto shrinking your database or you have to do gymnastics to clear your huge transaction log every time you run out of disk space – you’re doing it wrong. See these posts.

Merry Christmas – I’ll be leaving cookies and milk out for Microsoft in a few weeks. I’ll let you know if they came.